So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
