I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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