I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
this hospital has no fireball
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
