I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
