It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How's work?
Spinning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
