Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
