Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
