this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
