His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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