So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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