Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize