i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
