I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
