I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have already put on my inside pants.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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