this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
