Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize