So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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