kristin has been a bad kristin
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
