So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There r osticjed everywhere
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize