Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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