ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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