You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
