i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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