i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize