remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
