I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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