I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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