trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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