Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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