The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize