i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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