good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This house was built for laser tag.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
