You can't special order awesome
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
