clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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