i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
