am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I believe in your delicious
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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