she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
