so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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