Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
