Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
