ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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