yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the liver wants what the liver wants
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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