quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
