How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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