oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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