did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
