I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
