he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize