Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
