Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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