guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
