is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
