i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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