So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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