i just google imaged poop.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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