Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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