genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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