Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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