Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
